Propaganda holds a special place in the leftist heart. This is because it takes a great deal of effort and perseverance to engage in propaganda that is successful. Propaganda has multiple aims and if done correctly, can be the holy grail of politics. Propaganda begins in elementary school and tracks individuals throughout their secondary education culminating in the pinnacle of propaganda at the University level. But the real stars of the propaganda efforts are the elites in the news media employed by CBS, CNN, PBS, NBC, ABC, and MSNBC and their colleagues in the print and radio media.
The astounding achievements by the titans of news reporting have heretofore gone unnoticed by the American people. That changes today! With the inaugural Riefenstahl awards those who have sweated, toiled, and sacrificed for the cause of Marxism/socialism will finally receive the recognition that they so richly deserve. The categories for tonight’s awards are:
Best Individual Achievement
Best Group Achievement
Best Effort by a Layperson
Best Achievement by a Hollywood Professional
Lifetime Achievement in Propaganda
The Best Individual Achievement Award recognizes outstanding achievements by an individual to lie, smear, suppress, or spin the truth in order to make the left look cool, sexy, and powerful. While many compete, only one will win this honor. It takes stamina, a clever mind, and an uncommon underhandedness in order to secure this prize. The nominations for this award are:
Katie Couric – Ms. Couric currently hosts the CBS Evening News. Her sweet smile and perky demeanor belie a demonic underhandedness designed to torpedo the enemies of the left. Just ask Sarah Palin if you don’t believe that.
Dan Rather – Mr. Rather gave a huge effort to sticking it to Former President George W. Bush. By using information that had been determined by CBS to be unreliable, he assailed the President’s service in the Air National Guard. When confronted for this, Mr. Rather sidestepped the blame and dodged responsibility for his malfeasance with élan. Who’s the man? You’re the man Dan!
Spencer Ackerman – Formerly employed by the Washington Independent, Mr. Ackerman stuck it to conservatives and John McCain when he vigorously went after innocent Republicans smearing them as racists and helped to sink the story of Reverend Wright in order to protect an inexperienced and green candidate for the Presidency. As Chris Mathews once said, it is our job to make sure that Obama succeeds! Spence definitely agrees with that!
And the award for Best Individual Achievement goes to…Mr. Spencer Ackerman! Please continue the zealous and near fanatical devotion to socialism and deception that you have evidenced in your career. This is a great career highlight for you Spence! You have earned the first Riefenstahl Award! Way to go! Goebbels would be proud of you! This is truly a historic.
One of the toughest categories for assessing the mastery of propaganda is the group category. This is because there are so many participants that judging is extremely difficult because of the virtuosity of these efforts and the sheer number of them. Virtually every news magazine, newspaper, and broadcast can fit into this category. In fact, if one were to say that we are literally swimming in propaganda you would be right! However, as cream rises to the top of a milk can so too does the excrement fall to the bottom of the cesspool and that is how we determined the winner.
The nominees for the Best Group Achievement Award are:
The New York Times – The Old Gray Lady has been at it for years and is also nominated for the lifetime achievement award due to its decades of propaganda. Most recently, stories revealing top secret projects designed to stem the tide of terror in the United States by outside agencies has proven to be effective in assisting the terrorists in avoiding detection by national security forces thus endangering the lives of millions of Americans. Way to go Times! That will show those war mongering bastards in Washington!
ABC News – The folks at ABC News are some of the finest propagandists you could ever hope for. They are true professional who care about what it takes to truly lie to the American people and obfuscate the truth. ABC News garnered their nomination for the healthcare bill sleep over at the White House in order to get the coverage correct for consumption. It takes real dedication to take the time necessary in order to insure that the news jives with the official position and ABC News shows how it is done correctly.
And the winner for Best Group Achievement goes to…The New York Times! Holy God! The table at the New York Times has exploded with joy! Mo Dowd is doing back flips down the aisle…folks this is amazing. Glad she wore pants tonight! You have to believe that it takes a team effort to win a Group Achievement Riefenstahl. Better luck next time ABC, but tonight it is the Old Gray Lady’s time to shine!
Best Effort by a Layperson is a unique and special category. We evaluate the efforts of dozens of the best political hacks and arrive at the best of the best. Everybody from the President’s Press Secretary to Bill Maher and Rosie O’Donnell is a candidate for this award! The nominees are:
Bill Maher – Each and every show that Mr. Maher does is an example of the finest propaganda. This guy does monologues based on the flimsiest crap and makes it seem like he is speaking the words of God himself. What a superlative job of misleading the public Bill!
Robert Gibbs – Doughy faced and about as entertaining as a wet bar rag, Mr. Gibbs stands by the highest tenants of propaganda specializing in evading the truth and misdirection. In fact, it is precisely these talents that have won him the nomination for this award! Don’t believe me? Then just ask the Fox White House correspondent!
Valerie Jarrett – Ms. Jarrett is a political advisor and slum lord who twists the truth with the greatest of ease. In fact, Ms. Jarrett also approved the perversion of the National Endowment of the Arts for use as a propaganda arm of the Obama administration. Too bad that the plan was revealed before it could be put into action eh Val?
The winner was difficult to choose because of the admirable candidates, but the ultimate winner of the Riefenstahl Award for Best Effort by a Layperson is…Bill Maher! Boy is he excited, he is yelling something…wait…he just slapped a waiter! What? Oh…sorry folks, Mr. Maher didn’t hear that he won he is just upset that his dinner order was wrong. Could somebody please tell him that he got a Riefenstahl when his tirade is over? Thanks.
Boy this is exciting isn’t it folks? The next category for presentation is the Best Achievement for a Hollywood Professional Award. Each year Hollywood rolls out films designed to poison the minds of Americans against their government and to destroy public decency. The success of the film “Starship Troopers” as a piece of Hollywood propaganda disguised as entertainment led to the creation of this category. The nominees for this award are:
Oliver Stone – Mr. Stone has been working in Hollywood for a number of years and has created such works of fiction as “JFK” and “Born on the Fourth of July.” His slanted view of American life and history is sufficiently distorted to earn him a nomination in this category. His friendship with Hugo Chavez and the fact that many people believe that JFK is actual history lends further credence to his nomination in this category.
Michael Moore – ‘nuff said.
And the winner of the Riefenstahl Award for Best Achievement for a Hollywood Professional goes to…Oliver Stone! What’s that? Oh…ok…evidently some explanation is required as to why Michael Moore did not receive the award and he is throwing a major tantrum in the lobby. Yes, I know he did Bowling for Columbine…Yeah, I know about Sicko and Farenheit 911, but…shut up and listen will you? Those are supposed to be documentaries, but they are really propaganda and I realize that that alone should earn him an award, but Moore is not really a Hollywood professional. He was nominated in error. What? Look…maybe next year we can have a separate category for him. That’s what the Oscars did. Oh just let him cry. Damned baby.
Finally we wrap up the first annual Leni Riefenstahl Awards with the Lifetime Achievement award. This award designates the greats of propaganda. These are the heroes who labored their entire lives to subvert the truth and to spin the leftist agenda while killing the stories that would harm that effort. There are two heavyweights nominated for their incredible devotion to the spread of propaganda. These titans of the lie are:
The New York Times – Printing all the lies that are fit to print, the Old Gray Lady has time and again subverted the truth, sank stories that would reveal the corruption of the left, and hid the acts of blood thirsty dictatorial governments such as the U.S.S.R. and Red China. It’s a dirty job, but somebody has to do it right guys? Is Mo Dowd drunk? What? Oh yes, of course. Moving on.
George Soros – Billionaire and Marxist/socialist/fascist (not sure which applies as he hits so many categories simultaneously) created the Media Matters organization designed to promote propaganda to its uttermost limits. One of their most successful efforts was the Petraeus or Betray Us ad taken out in order to demean a combat veteran before he testified before Congress. Also of note are the Tides Foundation and the Apollo Alliance who employs a staff of spin doctors to twist the truth and confuse the average American while they move toward publishing a Marxist/socialist agenda. Mr. Soros also collaborated with the Nazis during World War II so he really knows good propaganda when he sees it. Wait…what? Oh, correction, Mr. Soros did not collaborate he cooperated with the…what? Spit it out man! For crying out…ok, Mr. Soros had some connection to the Nazis blah, blah, blah. He still knows what decent propaganda looks like doesn’t he? Right then.
And the winner of the first annual Riefenstahl Lifetime Achievement Award goes to…Mr. George Soros! The applause and cheering is nearly deafening! Look at Media Matters running for their laptops! The world will certainly hear about Mr. Soros’ recognition tomorrow! Hey! Somebody slap Mo Dowd and return her to reality! No Mo, you can’t cut your own throat or Mr. Soros’ throat with a butter knife! Pssst…next time don’t let that chick in you hear me?
Anyway, that is it for the first annual Riefenstahl Awards! Good night everybody!
The Riefenstahl Awards will return next July so please send your nominations for next year’s categories to: